Friday, November 19, 2010

The Theory of Attraction Part I

I'm going to write boring shit about love and relationship.  You may skip this before it bores you.

It's my personal theory about attraction, what it means to us creatures from Mars compared to creatures from Venus. Anyway, I'm a believer of heterosexuality. I believe coitus is the only correct way for sexual intercourse. The theory is simple. I bet you won't like it if I ask you to use your thumb to clean your nostril. But if you still insist to do it, I bet it will not be as much enjoyable and fulfilling as when you use your other fingers. Now imagine if it's mandatory for us human beings to use our big toe to clean our nostril? Will it be enjoyable? That is my logic about sex and sexual orientation.

Now let me ask you, why do I have this mindset that a large number of females are attracted to jerks? I don't develop this mindset in a week you see. It's a mindset that I developed after 23 years of living, observing and reading. I've lost count of cases and stories on how some girls fall head over heels in love with jerks, which frequently end up with the same old story, being dumped with the precious gifts of living spermatozoa.

How do we label jerks? It's difficult for me to accurately define it since I'm male, so naturally I'm kind of a jerk too as I might have adopted the traits without noticing it. Here's a list of the possible characteristics of a typical jerk:

1. I'M ALWAYS RIGHT, ALWAYS RIGHT LOLZZ
2. I'M SO HOT, SO FUCKING HOT ROFL LOLZ
3. I AM THE PIMP LOLZZ SEE THIS USELESS 9000 BUCKS SHIRTS, SHOES LOLLZZ
4. THE WORLD IS ALL ABOUT MEEEE I'M THE HERO LOLLZ
5. I KNOW EVERYTHING LOLLZZZ YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK MEEE IMMA TELL YA

Err, I think those sound more like the characteristics of a douchebag. Let's try that again. How to become a jerk:

1. Treat our girlfriend like crap.
2. Assume relationship as a ticket for free sex.
3. Assume that the world and gossips revolve around us.
4. Brag. A lot.
5. Use violence as much as possible.
6. Remind ourselves constantly how great it is to sleep and fuck around.
7. Ditch a relationship for a hotter girl.
8. Bullshit. And more bullshit. The more the merrier the better.
9. And many more.

Is it true? Is that how jerks are labeled? Honestly I'm not quite sure myself. But one thing I'm sure is the fact that I've lost count of how many times I've witnessed and heard females submitting their body and soul to this glorious species of guys. It happens over and over, same shit different stories. Bitching to no tomorrow about their useless boyfriends on Facebook yet they insist to stay in the unhealthy relationship. Few hours or at most a day after, they will be expressing how happy and wonderful and how they miss their boyfriends and how functional and awesome the relationship is. What the hell is this actually?

Thus, I developed this theory. Pardon the generalization. Girls don't like nice guys. Girls love jerks.

I know, it's not true. I know some friends who made the right choice. I can't say that all these love stories were unfold beautifully like those fairy tales. Some went through hardship. Some went through shit you can't even imagine. But at least they get to embrace their momentary happiness.

Why do some girls love jerks? It's not stupidity. In my opinion the reason is because the ideology is already hard-coded by nature.

*to be continued in Part II*

9 Comments:

mrskzee said...[Reply]

questioning self. sebab jerk sewel? sebab tu saye kawen diye? :3

lolahunny said...[Reply]

In my opinion, sometimes smart girls do make really stupid decisions. Sometimes, not all the time. We learn from it and start looking for better guys. (Well some of us at least).
Some are unlucky enough to fall head over heels repeatedly before realizing how much of an asshole the Martian really is. Some are just too "used" to this feral treatment that they allow it to continue.

This is just my theory...
Girls want a fairy tale love story, a perfect lover who says whatever she wants to hear, who reads her mind and who does whatever her heart desire.
A jerk comes into her life, giving this illusion that he is THAT man.
He says all this wonderful things to her with an ulterior motive.

Note: a girl in love cannot differentiate a liar with empty promises and a real perfect lover.

A jerk is usually that guy who would say and do whatever it takes to get into her pants. But never actually means what he says.
That leaves these girls with empty promises, lies and a broken heart.
I don't think girls like to fall for jerks. Its just that when girls are in love, they tend to have poor judgement.

Nice guys are hot.
Jerks can go to hell.

una berry said...[Reply]

most jerks are fun to be with
but not certainly the type u can live with :D

belle said...[Reply]

1million thumbs up for miss lola :P

virtual high five :D

Merissa K. said...[Reply]

well, i think, i THINK, it is due to the hard-to-get challenging nature of it all.

sure, a nice guy is nice. but to be able to turn that jerk into a nice guy is a far more tempting prospect.

see, a nice guy is meant and even expected to do nice things and be sweet. but when a jerk does it, it's valued at a higher level because it is against their norm to be a complete sweetheart.

human are egoistical bastards, all of us, whether we realize it or not. the chase of something ungettable has the tendency to excite us.

we're just stupid people chasing stupid things for stupid reasons.

no?

(sly smirk)

Dewi Batrishya said...[Reply]

Read & noted. TQ vewy much.

Valossa Vicious said...[Reply]

@dayl

Pasal kau pun sewel? LOL

@lola

Thumbs up for your two cents! For us guys, it might sound weird but I think at some point we won't even notice that we're being a jerk. Especially when the relationship becomes really dysfunctional.

@una

Ahah. Agree.

@belle

High five lagi. Haha

@tasha

Hahahaha *smirk!* Impressive as usual I see. It's the same thing why us guys are getting the hots with scantily clad girls~ but honestly I don't mind. "Hot" is attitude not just looks.

@Wewi

So whatcha gonna do? lol

luxperpetua said...[Reply]

i loike this entry..hahaha

Valossa Vicious said...[Reply]

@Fara

Wait for part II.