Friday, January 28, 2011


"LABIS, Jan 28 (Bernama) -- Thirty-six flood victims in Kampung Lembah Bakti, here, received government aid from Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin on Friday.

Muhyiddin, who has been in this state constituency since yesterday, said the government sympathised with the victims and hoped that the aid would help ease their burden.

'We are sympathetic to the plight of the people and we will extend the necessary assistance,' he said at the ceremony at Kampung Lembah Bakti multipurpose hall."  LINK

That is equal to saying,

Dear my Facebook friends, today I saved a really fat cat who was giving birth to 67 little kittens! Hell that was bloody as shit but I saved the cat! Hey I must be the kindest person in the world, don't you think? Now you can't tell me I hate animals and that I like to watch cats being ignited. :)

I believe that true kindness is not to be told. But that's politics.

And that's the kind of kindness I rarely see. Well, how can we see it if it's not told huh? Hahahaha? Hahahaha? How many of us who could actually do that?

Now let's do something good... And keep our mouth shut.

Gloomy Mandarin Lime

[Gloomy Sunday on air]

Years passed by yet my brain refused to process that particular memory into regression. While the Chinese folks delightfully wait for that significant change of numbers, here I am, rewinding those days in repetitive, dull, yet tormenting fashion. Being 20 percent Chinese, I didn't have the chance to understand thoroughly what's the celebration is all about. Regrets are absolutely useless, so are all the pain and embarrassment in the past yet what am I doing here, as if the past is alterable?

So they say we can leave the past but the past never leaves us. I thought that was ridiculous but now it seems so true. I can still remember those beautiful, meaningful days like it was yesterday. The past never did leave me. Sometimes it strikes me deeply how changes are absolutely meaningless, so is existence, as the nihilist said. Nothing is ever meaningful, they say, nothing is fact, because after all we're bound with perspectives. Perspectives, which sometimes some of us impose to others to become truths.

Orange, round, juicy, sweet and occasionally hellishly sour, Mandarin lime is my definition of Chinese New Year. The world is full of insignificant little things, big dirty lies and propaganda and things we will never understand. Mandarin lime, a confirmed trifle but it's one those little happiness we look forward to have at times. But little did I know those little happiness we held dear could turn to nightmare.

Seven days.

Seven days of irregular bowel movement. Seven days of massive diarrhea. Seven days of sleepless nights. Seven days of deadly dehydration. Seven days of sleeping on top of pins and needles.

Too much of a good thing, that was the case. Nothing is ever good when done beyond moderation. So is Vitamin C.

Never, never eat two boxes of Mandarin lime, alone. You can actually have too much of a good thing.


Happy Chinese New Year!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Do You Ever Feel

In case this is relevant to you. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

Well, do you? HAHAHA

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Dunia ini sudah terlalu ramai pakar motivasi. Semua orang terlalu bermotivasi. Semua orang terlalu bersemangat untuk hidup. Semua orang terlalu berpandangan positif terhadap hidup. Semua orang percaya, toleransi, bermuafakat dan menghormati sesama sendiri. Semua orang terlalu bermotivasi untuk menjadi lebih berjaya, kaya, dan boleh berhari raya dengan wang ringgit.

Sudah terlalu banyak pakar motivasi di dunia ini, itu kataku.

Maka kerana aku dalam kasut yang sangat tidak bermotivasi seminggu dua ini, aku bertekad, aku mahu mengubah dunia yang terlalu positif itu. Apa salahnya ada seorang dua berpandangan negatif dan pesimistik kan? Dunia ini sudah terlalu sempurna dan tiada cacat-celanya, langsung tiada cacamerba karut marut semua itu.

Aku bertekad untuk menjadi pakar demotivasi.

Nanti audiensku akan terdiri dari mereka-mereka yang terlalu bermotivasi, terlalu positif, terlalu yakin dengan hidup mereka, terlalu pasti dengan jalan yang mereka pilih, terlalu bahagia dengan apa yang mereka perolehi walau hanya ala kadar. Nanti akan kuhancurkan, kugenggam sehingga remuk semua harapan dan impian mereka biar berkecai jadi serpihan najis sedih. Biar mereka putus harapan, biar mereka lihat dunia itu dari satu perspektif gelap dan suram. Biar mereka tahu mereka hidup hanya untuk mati.

Tapi wujud satu loophole dalam tekadku ini, bagaimana nanti kalau aku menjadi bermotivasi semasa menjadi pakar demotivasi? Pasti aku akan diludah, dicerca dan diterajang oleh pengikut-pengikut demotivasiku.

Nampaknya tidak senang untuk menjadi pakar demotivasi. Ah sialan, aku demotivasi lagi.

This probably will be a future project which I discussed with my comrade last night. Why can't we have demotivators when when we have motivators? 

p.s: I'm seriously demotivated by the way.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Now I Blog About INTERLOK Too

Since the announcement about the retrieval of the 'cursed' book Interlok on 15th December, I didn't expect it to end there. Today, the 24th of January 2010, the issue about the book is literally getting 'hotter'. Angry citizens are burning the book all over this country, people are getting arrested for voicing out their opinions (via action, by burning book that is). The book was written by Abdullah Hussain, which I'm sure is really devastated at the moment.

To me personally, Abdullah Hussain is a good writer. When I was still a naive and overly-positive young lad, I had read his one of his books entitled 'Masuk Ke Dalam Cahaya'. The book is about the spiritual journey of a man, whose life is falling apart and deviated from the teachings of Islam. As far as I remember, it was inspirational, it is a good mix of reality, religious issues and some mystical elements. 'Real' in the sense that Abdullah Hussain is not afraid to show the ugly side in the life of Muslims, bashing those with 'holier-than-thou' mentality. Being a Muslim is not a free pass for you to justify your wrongdoings and shove your beliefs to other people's throat.

Here's a link to Malaysiakini article which will give you brief understanding about INTERLOK along with some quotations from the book. CLICK HERE

Now, the way I see it, the cause of all these argument and chaos is primarily due to the use of this particular word, pariah and how the author depicted how the Indians first came to Malaya. First, I'd like to apologize to any Indian if that word did offend you, in case you're reading this. Based on my understanding of what's happening in Malaysia's blogsphere and in the news;

1. Some believe there shouldn't too much fuss about the book because it is historical and the book tells about the truth.
2. Some believe the book is demeaning to their race because it used the word pariah, as if trying to depict that all the Indians are pariah a.k.a. outcast.
3. Some say the book is okay because it did mention the Malays are stupid and lazy, the Chinese are swindlers and materialistic, and the Indians are pariah.
4. Some say what really matters is the ultimate purpose of the book, after all the book's ending promotes unity and 1Malaysia.

Actually I believe if you are not an Indian, you don't have the right to 'perceive their perception' about the use of the word pariah. You are not in their shoes therefore you don't have the right to perceive what they feel. Remember, remember, how did the Malays react during the controversy about the use of the word 'Allah' whether it should be used by the Christians? It's just the same song with different chorus. A Muslim might say it matters because it's his religion and insist he's right since he believes other religions are wrong.

It's the same case to the Indians because when the word 'pariah' is used, it is beyond racial slur. Being a pariah means being an outcast. When you are a pariah or the untouchable, your equal right is denied, you are untouchable, you are the lowest of everything from the gutter. In fact, being a pariah is so infectious that anyone from the higher hierarchy will be an outcast too if he/she hangs out too much with them. Being a pariah means you are from the lower caste, you are avoided and despised just because you exist. If you're interested to know more about this word, please click this LINK. The word pariah is really that demeaning.

Then how is it fair that pariah is equal with bodoh, malas, penipu, kencing, busuk and other stereotypes? Why is the Indians getting the worst label? Imagine if some narrow-minded Meleis school kids begin to ridicule their friends with that word?

Then is the book really that bad and written with hidden agenda? I believe it doesn't. The best form of art or a lifetime reminder is to destroy, bash, something to smithereens and then build it back from the ground up. Psychologically it means, before you could learn a lesson of a lifetime, you must fail, you must do mistake, you must suffer, something must go wrong. Only then you will learn, only then you will forever remember your mistake. And I believe that was what Abdullah Hussain's intention, his method is a bit radical, but his intention was good. He wanted to show that concept of unity from different sides.

However, no matter how good the book is for some people (I believe it's good), is it appropriate for Form Five students? How sure are we that a large population of these students are mature enough to handle the book? That is if if they actually read the book lah. Maybe they're more busy to be Mat Rempit and beromen instead. Hahahah! To ridicule their friends with that insulting word is not far from possible you see and some states in this country is known for their intense racial prejudice. Isn't that sad, a book once good is now criticized, burned, stomped on like a cursed book?

Surprisingly Digital Extremes did release a game for XBox, which is kind of related to this issue;

No this is not Photoshopped.

I have no race prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
Mark Twain.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Late Reply

I was on a temporary hiatus after I wrote that entry 'Utter Stupidity' which you can see HERE. After I got back, I didn't immediately write but just lurk around; there was buttload of comments which I hesitated to reply and kind of forgot about it. BAHAHAHA (I laugh in that sudden, loud, and awkward way in real life)

My reply is kind of long so I made an entry out of it. Nothing interesting, you can just skedaddle and skip this entry.

@Miss Hanis

Annoyed the hell out of you didn't it? They're willing to do anything just to score for the headline-- and this surely isn't the first time. It's not like we should ignore the problem, I know it exists, but should they propagate more problems than the actual issue?

@Blood Seeker

Hey, maybe we should direct a localized version of 'The Ring' based on that premise.


Digging his own grave? Bahaha Goodie two shoes!


Just for the hit yaww just for the hit.


Sure, there's no denying that. Incest is a global problem but that doesn't mean they have the right to fabricate news.

To create problems when there isn't any and ignoring the actual problem in the society.

@Imrahib (intentionally)

Should tabloids be banned then? But it's Malaysian's favorite, just like nasi lemak and teh tarik!

@not cool guy

Yeah. HD now. Who knows in 10 years Astro will actually have porn?

Wait. Porn is already there.


Ban the tabloid, ban em.

@yamanashi miyuki

Analyse that thoroughly? Excuse me missy, that's not thorough, in fact that's not even an analysis.

There's a high probability that wasn't done by Malaysians in the first place, then why fabricate problems when they can write about ACTUAL problem in this country?

Anyway, this blog is the place where I talk cock, cuss, and let off some steam - in real life, I have my job to make a change, I educate individuals to do good. Never did I tell them "Hey go have sex yaww it's good!"

Wasting time and debating over the news? Well, it's not exactly a debate, but maybe you should do a reality check,

Isn't it redundant to say take actions now and go out of my home when you yourself is WASTING YOUR TIME commenting here? What change did you make so far? In real life, I make changes. Here, I talk cock.

@Peminat Katie Holmes



1. Yep. 90% probability.
2. Oh, homemade? lol
3. Okay, that's true.
4. That's true too.

I was on hiatus. Hahaha




Plastik kan? Macam orang-orang yang suka lepak blog or sites hiburan then bising-bising "Ish... Gini la anak bangsa kita..." "Ish ish ish... Seksinya..." "Ish ish ish nampak lurah" "Kembalilah ke jalan yang benar."

They must have accidentally teleported to those websites kot. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Absolutely mental and hypocrite.


When a guy uses way too much perfume, I think he's gay.

When a girl uses way too much perfume, all I think about is sex.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

He Who Embraced The World

It all began with a simple idea; he wanted to have everything. Whatever he sees possessed by others, he wanted to have it too. Once, he swore he could have killed a kid his age for a toy car his father couldn't afford. That toy car he held in his hand became the first emblem for his later conquests, an obsession beyond greed, a force that drove him alive. To possess just for the sake of possessing, ignoring the consequences of means and ways. To possess was his own brand of recognition he was unfortunate to lack.

And that's not insanity, no. He knew exactly and perfectly what he was doing.

"I believe what I have to believe and what I believe is my own existence and it matters." That was the evolved version of his childhood ideologies. Revolting, self-centric the ideology was, it worked for him and it made him invincible. He was not leashed to the redundant and occasionally hypocritical boundaries of morality. "What's there to conform to when I proudly piss on your norms?" He set his own norms, but he was not a fool, he knew exactly how to walk among people, even when his heart was screaming with disgusts and scorns.

Of course, with the pleasure of material possessions he needed to fill an empty void of his soul, the joy of tender warm flesh, the bosoms of attractive women where he poured his dreary facade. Unlike most men who chose to fall from their pride to the innermost thigh of women, never did he falter, not even once. Emotions and the burden of feelings were something he could effortlessly handle, in almost inhuman manner. Strange as it was, the more he refuse to submit to his inner feelings, the brighter he charmed those unenlightened.

The seemingly eternal cogs moved and alas he had to face the truth. Pride comes before a fall, the five words that shattered the dreams of many men who chose to liberate themselves from conscience. Thus before the foreseeable end, he figured he had to grasp that one last dream he had yet possess. He knew circumstances would not let him of easily but nothing had stopped him before so why should he stop now?

So finally he stood with pride, just a brief moment before his fall,

with a pair of breasts!


Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Mechanics of a Relationship for the Young and Foolish

This is largely based on a male's perception. If somehow it appears misogynistic, feel free to shoot me down.

When everything's said and done, hearts were broken, lost were sweet words but scornful accusations, and not to mention how you realize how difficult it is to change your romance-driven-habits (shocking phone bills, mellow good night wishes, the outings, etc); you will question yourself, "Good God, how the heck did that happen?"

How could something so beautiful end up so dysfunctional which you could barely understand? Heck, you probably don't even know yourself anymore, for months or even years; to solve your identity crisis, the oh so usual quest of 'Breaking the Habit'.

So here's the mechanics of a relationship (and how it falls apart), from what I heard and from what I see. There are five primary phases in the mechanics of relationship, from the beginning till it falls apart.

Phase 01: 'Star Crossed Lovers' (or So They Say)

The phase when everything's so beautiful that you believe that rhinos actually puke rainbow. At this phase, everything looks so perfect, you'll most like care for nothing about the world but the said lover. Suddenly you realize the two of you had so much in common! --To such extent that something that is not your interest is NOW your interest, but you didn't notice that.

At this point you're probably sharing favourite songs, favourite places, favourite this and that. There is a possibility that now you've just discovered the wonder of smilies in texting. The future seems promising and the rhino will continue to perpetually puke rainbow to no end!

Phase 02: 'Going Steady'

You figured in order to escalate that happiness to a whole new level, going steady indeed is the right choice. "Nothing will stop us!", "This is the definitely the right thing to do!", oh hail the joy of being young and foolish when you thought the world works in perfect order.

At this phase you're probably doing ridiculous stuff which you will laugh at when you get older; surveying a house which you will live together (not considering you don't have a job yet), combining both of your names for your imaginary children, awkward nicknames which will induce 'pfffttt' among your friends, embarrassing Friendster/Facebook couple photos, stuff like that.

Going steady heyy!
Phase 03: 'A Relationship'

Now you're in. You're officially in a relationship which you hope will last and end as something worth mentioning, not another sappy love song. That depends on you though, whether you plan to move on with marriage later in the future. Some people just do it for the kicks. Hahahahaha

During this phase everything is relatively stable, just as what you expected, at least until you see the big picture. You start to know your partner in greater detail, flaws and pet peeves that you overlook or just ignore because you say you love him/her as for what they are.

Star crossed lovers much?

Phase 04: 'The Power Battle' all the way to 'The Eye Opener'

The sub-phase where most relationships deteriorate, 'The Power Battle'. In its most basic form, a relationship is always about maintaining the equilibrium of power. Who calls the shots, who orders food from the menu, who decides the venues for date, who decides what movies to watch, who scores the phone bills; stuff like that.

Then there goes the switching of roles and identity crisis. Both the people in the relationship try really hard to adapt to their partner, trying to be interested in what you don't, saying yes when you actually should say no, doing things you wouldn't normally do, etcetera.

Later on you start to realize, you have no idea who the hell is the person staring at you from the mirror. You were too absorbed in the relationship you've changed so much. But you're so into the relationship you can't get out, there are commitments, there is this ego you want to protect, though at the moment everything begins to deteriorate.

'The Eye Opener' - Now you begin to see all those flaws and pet peeves and they're poking your eyes like poisonous bamboo. Now the world is not that beautiful eh? Now the rhino is puking blood and dirt instead of rainbow. BAH DUM TISH!


Phase 05: All Hell Breaks Loose

The relationship now has reached its ultimate phase of dysfunction. It's completely dysfunctional, but the good memories you stored in your brain makes you cling on to something that is totally hopeless. You keep telling yourself that things will work again and the constant shouting, blaming, cursing, and bickering will stop. But they don't, instead they get more intense. Now the only passion left about the relationship is all about FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT.

And so you wonder, how did I end up with that __________??? Fill in the blank according to your level of hostility and irrationality.

The next phase is intentionally left according to your imagination. It's mostly about 'rediscovery of identity', break up songs, sappy break up poetry, 'I want you back but oh no you don't' phone calls, really bad diet, increased cigarette counts, and other things you can probably list down yourself.

The Aftermath

What you will eventually end up as.

In conclusion, relationship is not something you should initiate if you realize you yourself have unresolved issues and identity crisis. Why bother to ruin months or even years of both your and other people's life? But here's an irony:

Only with a really strong thud of banhammer in the head you'll realize your mistakes and achieve self improvement. So go ahead, DO MISTAKES without a tint of regret.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

You'll never know...

...when shit hits the fan.

All of a sudden, all those bad things you were worried about happen one after another. Now, figuratively all the shit is all over your newly decorated walls and on the floor. On your couch too.

Just now, my LCD monitor finally submitted to mortality. It began to lose its once vivid colours and its response time crept painfully, like a dying stray dog desperately struggling with its last breath. All good things will eventually come to end.

Completing the episodes of a terrible new year.


Actually it's not that dramatic. Damnation, why now when I'm in such a chronic financial state and amidst all these tedious works?

I won't be writing for a while till I fix the LCD. Cheers.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Happy Belated New Year

Oh hi. This blog was abandoned for about two weeks since I was busy and I figure I should take a break from blogging for a while. I'm gonna reply all those dusty and cobwebbed comments later on.

Eh, so how's your redundant new year's resolution? Did you manage to list down 'things-that-I-thought-I-wanted-to-achieve-but-actually-I-don't'? Hahahaha. Seriously though, resolution is a good thing but it doesn't need to wait for another year. So officially this year, I managed to stop that annual "I must quit smoking this year fuck yeah!" resolution.

So in actuality, actually I managed to achieve my new year's resolution in 11 days!

Since it's new year, I've just created another blog with a better defined purpose and content. It's named "Black Spiral". It's still in progress though.

Anyway, Happy Belated New Year for everyone out there!

Eh, what's with this never-ending hype about new year actually huh? It's just numbers lah. LOL