Nom Nom Nom Bizarro

Yesterday Sugar baked me cookies, 20 of them.
Six of these 20 were written with J.O.T.A.RO. on them with chocolate chips.
That was the first time someone other than my mother and family members baked me cookies.
Specifically, cookies.
Cookies.
COOKIES.
(Besides Chipsmore, Oreo, and other types of foods)
Not only the taste, but also the feelings of appreciation.
So the cookies are perfect, physically and mentally.
(I'm not going mental, by the way)
I love them cookies!
Nom nom nom nom nom nom.
Thanks, Sugar! :]
More cookies.

ROFL

Longer than we have known, things that we knew as happiness,

are actually products.

Pathetic.

Chicken Shit

siapa kata kita benar
bila kita selindung dalam gebar
siapa kata kita berani
kalau kita tidak benar
siapa kita cakap besar
kalau hati bagai selumbar
siapa benar siapa salah
semua pun bullshit lah
chicken shit
you know chicken shit

Ugly

carilah syurga
di perut dunia
nanti biar muntah bersama
segala isi dan helahnya

Names

This post is officially about names. Everyone is born with names. Or maybe not. But even if you're born nameless you'd still be called by something, like 'Oi', 'Hmph' or 'That filthy animal' or things like that. But that doesn't matter.

So in this blog, I'm known as Nerojei. People call me Joe. Sometimes Jo. Some called me Jo Bizarro. My real name is _________. And it's not a girl's name, period. Really, I'm just an average joe. Just a cup of joe, you may say. But this isn't the point, still.

So, lately, like a few minutes ago, I have a thought about this. Most of the time, I could only remember faces but I forgot names. Especially those people who asked for my lighter to lit their cigarette. Well, it's not like I asked for their names, right. Uhh. But, but, but my point is, name is only significant when that person register to certain parts in your life. Then suddenly his or her name became so significant and remembering that name quickly turned very natural.

Okay, the point is, at this moment, there's this one name I think sounds so special for me. I don't know why. Suddenly it sounded very interesting to pronounce, to type and to bear in mind. Oh and the slight thought about it makes me happy. What the heck.

Snatch It Away

I want to snatch away your happiness.
Just for a day or two maybe?

I promise I will return it to you.
Because your 'happy' is like no other.

Okay?

Mercy.

Time, mercy me.

Is everything too late?

Or is it too late for everything?

Please, do let me, at least be a little, happy?

Warna.

Warna itu bagiku
hanya sekadar garisan
pada raut wajah
yang sirna cerita
tapi bawa seribu makna
beri aku
masa dan ketika
biar hilang separuh jiwa.

A Few Facts About This Ignorant Guy Pt. 2

7. Chilly sauce is supposed to be eaten with burgers only, not with fries, fried chicken, pisang goreng, popia or chicken wings. That's what I believe.

8. Slow, lagging computer and internet connection piss me off more than the action of someone breathing behind my neck. Seriously. Nothing else angers me more than these two things.

9. I used to be so fucking hot-tempered and aggressive and ended up physically beating a lot of people when I was younger. It continued until I was 16 year old, I somehow grasped anger management. But there are exceptions, just like the above example.

10. Owning a super bike is a dream that will make me happy more than anything in the world. Think constant orgasm. Okay, maybe not.

11. I adore girls who know how to smile, because I don't. :)

12. The first and last time I shaved my head clean was after SPM. Simply for fun. I tried to shave it on my own and later I noticed my scalp was bleeding and blood was running down my face, I had to stop halfway so the hair was all over the half-bald head. I hid in my room for the night and that morning I confessed to mama that I tried to shave and failed. So she finished the job and I learned a lesson, shaving your head bald is not a task you can perform without any experience!

13. The most disastrous event related to hair dye and bleach in my life happened last year. I bleached my hair white for about two weeks, than dyed it dark blue. Then dark blue faded, it turned to purple, then to green, then to light blonde. When I came to Shah Alam, I dyed it black. Shortly after, the colour faded again and it turned to red and after sometime blonde again, but with heavier tone.

14. People often say I'm good with computers and other geeky stuffs but really, everything I learned is from the internet and self-experiments. Everything comes with costs, to fix something you must first damage something.

15. I love T-shits with unusual labels. Oh how typical. Oh I don't care about the brand of my shirt or pants, only shoes.

16. In my previous experiences with girls, I was never the one to make a move so practically, I don't know how to woo a girl, actually. So if you like me, if any, please do woo me. Hahaha.

17. I often laugh to jokes people don't find funny. Duh.

18. When I said I won't care about something, I really mean it, I won't give a slightest shit about it.

19. I coughed a lot when I'm in the bathroom and when I bath. I don't know why. Allergy to water perhaps.

20. Kratos is the most bad ass character ever created in history, I wish I could be ignorant and angry just like him. Is that normal?

--to be continued--

A Few Facts About This Ignorant Guy Pt. 1

Here goes nothing.

1. I am not into text messaging. I often wonder why some people can't seem to take mobile phones off their hand, for like... The whole day? Is it really that fun to text about everything you do? Hey I've eaten. Woi aku dah berak. Hoi ada batu di tepi jalan. Woi rokok aku abis. Hey I'm having a leak. Alaa ashtray aku tumpah. Hehe kucing aku beranak. Aku maw tidur. Things like these. God.

2. I freaking hate phone calls when I'm busy on something, no matter for what reason. Probably due to my choice of ringtone. A low-pitched customized version of a metal song, Nymphetamine, which is very noisy and disturbing to most people. Lately, I'm becoming this most people too. But I refuse to change the ringtone.

3. Don't expect me to text or ask anyone everyday asking about how are they doing, have they eaten, how was their day whatsoever. I'd removed this activity from my routine at one point in my life and now I'm too used to it. I often text only when texted first. I call when there are needs, such as hanging out, going out, assignments etc. No exception. I bet I'll be single forever and die alone sooner than I thought. But seriously dude, I'm comfortable with it, too comfortable perhaps. I prefer to interact face to face or via internet.

4. I use my phone until its battery dies. Which takes almost three days. Heck, I charge my PSP's battery more often than my phone. The irony? I'm still using a postpaid line. Why? Because I fucking hate you, Celcom. I don't even want to go your office.

5. I smoke like no tomorrow. Most people say I'm a human train. Sugar said I'm an exhaust pipe. And yes, I'm not gonna quit no matter what you tell me. I do want to quit, but don't ever tell me to. Don't even tell me to smoke less. I'd smoke more just because you said that. Seriously. Anyway, I really need to quit. Someday.

6. I work faster with metal or music with loud bass in the background. And when I work, I don't like to wear earphones. Therefore, this habit is seriously disturbing. Sorry.

So for the first part, it's mostly about mobile phones. Wow.

--To be continued--

Sympathetic Snicker

It was a joke which turned out unfunny at all. Not even a sympathetic snicker I'd say.
It was a joke and still is a joke.
Circumstances.
They put me in the know.
More than I should, more than I wanted.
Anyway.
Lying is one thing.
Lying to others is the other.
And lying to yourself, trust me, it's another joke.
Which you wouldn't laugh at sooner or later.
Godspeed.

Told You So

So...
Did you see that?
I told you so.
The cake is a lie.

Heathens.

It's not even a question,
heck, it can't even be questioned.
He exists.
But more and more people choose to be godless.
Damn you,
godless heathens.
Damn the world,
for it taught more than we ever knew
with heavens and ambrosia in disguise.

A Case Study, A Piece of Experience.

This is a portion of the case study I wrote for my CM class, after that I found writing personal experience is fun. It's freaking long!

Due to the nature of this case, I have decided that the actual name of the school should not be disclosed. However, in order to enable the readers of this paper to understand the context of this case study, it should be revealed that the school was a science boarding school (SBP) situated in Sabah, in the middle of an urban city. In terms of students’ distribution, most of the students in this school were selected from all over the state. Therefore, some of these students were from urban areas, while some were from sub-urban and interior areas in the state. The total number of students in the school was around 2000, significantly lower than most national schools in the city. 

In terms of academic achievement, the students in this school were carefully selected from primary schools all over the state; only students with at least 4As in the UPSR were offered to enter the school, thus explaining the small number of students. Thus, in this school, competitions between students were common. In each examination, there was no telling who would gain the spotlight because competitions between students were intense. A large number of students in the school were achievers and the school performed quite well in each PMR and SPM examinations. 

The school offered several useful facilities such as gym, computer labs, multi-purpose room with audio-visual equipments, lake for recreation, field and tracks for sport events and also hostel for students. Also, since the school is a boarding school, all of the students stayed in the hostel with no exception. Each afternoon at 2 until 4 and every evening at 8 until 10, students were required to attend prep classes which would be used for revision, discussion, studies and also for finishing homework. Each afternoon at 4 to 6, students were required to go to the field and participate in co-curriculum. Students who failed or intentionally skipped the prep classes and sports would be punished if they were found by warden, teachers and prefects. 

The schedule was very strict and tight, therefore each night it was compulsory for the students to ‘lights off’ at 11 sharp, after 11 nobody should be seen loitering around the hostel, much less other school compounds. The rationale for this tight schedule and packed activities was probably to build students’ character and to mould them to be more disciplined. In fact, as one of the students in the school, each time I went home during holidays, I felt empty and bored because I adapted too well with the school’s routine. In this school, students were not given any chance to waste their time during daytime, from 6.30 in the morning the classes began and only at 10 in the evening the prep ended. The school tried very hard to mould students’ behaviour.

Judging from the characteristics and settings of the school from the perspective of a teacher now, the school seemed to promise an effective environment for teaching and learning. What more can a teacher asks? The school was privileged with many facilities that would aid teaching and learning process. The students were mostly intelligent and they performed well in tests and examinations. Collaborative and cooperative learning were easy because all of the students stayed in the hostel. The school’s schedules and routines were carefully designed to mould and build students character and discipline. Then, from such a positive school and classroom environment, how could there be a problem? This will explained further in the next section.

The problem in this case study began prominently when I was in Form Three. The routines in the school went on as usual when the semester began. All the students in my batch were doing fine, classroom activities and lessons were running as usual. The positive environment persisted for a few months, only until some of the students in the batch got close with some problematic senior students in the school. It all began with one or three of my friends learning to smoke from the seniors, who intentionally gave the cigarettes to them, a ‘strategy’ they used therefore they could ask for cigarettes from my friends when they became addicted and had to purchase cigarettes on their own. Smoking habit in my batch of Form Three spread like a wildfire. It was not long until more than 80% of the students in the batch turned to avid cigarette smokers, including me. We were hiding all over the place to smoke; in the toilet, the attics of classroom, the wall less balcony just outside the dormitories, in the bushes, we were all over the place. This smoking problem was only a beginning of a rather severe situation.

Smoking cigarette was only a beginning of a more serious and unhealthy habit. More and more students in my batch were influenced by the seniors. We were skipping preps and some of us began the tradition of bullying junior students. Junior students were asked to carry food from the dining hall to the hostel, some were asked to iron our clothes, some were told to wash piles of clothes and some were told to do silly things just for entertainment. Those who were rebelling and showed dissatisfaction were beaten and were severely warned. Then we learned how to ‘fly’, a term we used for the activity of sneaking out from school at night and during weekends. We climbed the edgy fences and went to the city with around 15 to 20 participants. We walked all to the way to the centre of the city and loiter around to see the sceneries of night. Then some us began to teach each other how to steal from shops and supermarket, how to cheat taxi drivers and get a free ride. The situation was very chaotic; being in Form Three was very different from what we had in Form Two and Form One.

Then progressively, some of the students in my batch began to befriend with people outside from school. They sneaked out of school to meet these people and sometimes they illegally bought them to the hostel. To be exact, these students were mostly my dorm mates. It was not long until I noticed my friends began to involve in a seriously unhealthy activities and they were doing it right in front of me, in the dorm. They were introduced to ‘crystal meth’ or its scientific name, methamphetamine by their friends outside of school and also by the seniors who were involved. Not only meth, some of my friends were addicted to cough syrup or to be exact, dextromethorphan, a pharmaceutical drug found in cough drug and it can get people high when taken in high does. The activity of inhaling ‘crystal meth’ spread in the batch as well, though not as worse smoking habit. However, the problem worsened when my friends realized that the drug was a lot more expensive than cigarette and money became a problem. Thus began another series of decadence.

These students who were involved in drug abuse began to steal from their own batch, or rather, my batch of Form Three students. They learned how to cleanly open lockers without scratching a thing and left undetected, only by using a fork and screwdriver. Many things were stolen such as money, hair gel, wristwatch, perfume, shoes, clothes, foods, and even personal collection of wallpapers. Then if there was anything sellable from the loot, these items would be sold to their friends outside of school and through this cycle they managed to buy drugs. Other method they resorted to in order to afford drugs and cigarette was by threatening junior students and extort money from them, though this was not done as much as stealing. Judging from the chaotic situation in social and discipline aspects, of course the situation in classroom was not any better.

Though not all of the students in the batch were involved with drugs and other unhealthy activities, problems persisted in class because more and more students were disappearing, especially students from ‘C’ and ‘D’ classes. Some students began to lose their interests to learn, while some were feeling uncomfortable studying with groups of drug abusing and stealing students. The batch of students were falling apart due to the stealing, we began to despise each other and accused the wrong persons. The situation was getting worse and of course, grades were falling and we were still active with non-curriculum activities. Sneaking out of school became a trend and those who had not done it were ridiculed. Throughout the semester, the batch of Form Three students was getting wilder and wilder and the school was at lost because we were out of control. The school was at war with drug abuse, which was kept unknown from the knowledge of parents and other schools. The teachers in the school somehow knew a few of the details about what was happening, but still the problem was not an easy one to be solved.

The problem was getting out of hand; therefore the first step that the school took was to contact the Narcotic Department to do urine test for suspected students in the school. Of course, after the urine test, many of my friends were caught and given warning. It seemed like the purpose of the urine test was to sniff out the bad fruits in the batch. Those who were involved in drugs were identified and blacklisted by the school. Then, after a few months, my friends who were involved in abusing meth were disappearing after another. When I asked them, they told me that the school actually gave them two choices. It was either to leave the school on their own will or the school would use its right and power to sake them out of school, with negative disciplinary record. Of course, anyone with sane mind and concerned parents would choose the first choice because most schools would not accept students with such discipline record. The choice that the school had given to them was not actually a choice but a mandatory. These friends of mine were thrown out of school despite of what they had done.

Then, as I progressed to Form Four, most of the problematic students were not present anymore, some of them transferred to new school and some quit school once and for all. Indeed, the loss of my friends was not quite an exciting experience but the overall situation in the school and classrooms were getting better. There were no more students involved in abusing meth. The worst case that happened was just only student caught smoking in the toilets and balcony. Though it was not the best decision, but the school managed to eliminate negative influence in the batch, by removing them from the source. However, was it justifiable if the school’s decision actually had forsaken the dropped out students’ future? Now that is an interesting issue to be discussed for us as teachers.

The Shittiest Part of This

Dear Coma,

Since forever or yesterday, I've been looking for journals and research articles.

I looked for them from portals and especially from The Asian EFL Journal.

Yeah, there are many journals, including completely written and high quality thesis.

But the big problem is, I am required to find three research articles that support a single claim.

The word 'research' here indicates that the articles must include literature review plus methodology plus findings plus hypothesis whatsoever. In other words, the articles must be based full-pledged researches.

The Asian EFL Journal sure is good, but I was yet to find the three related research articles until...

I realized I forgot my best friend, Mr. Google.

Heck, what had happened to me?

I used to not bother looking for research articles from portals and specific sites.

I am not utilizing the internet to the most anymore!

I am a noob now. Holyshit.

Perhaps because there were too many assignments my brain stopped functioning?

Just 30 minutes ago, after I used my long abandoned Googling skill, there, I found more than 10 full research articles talking about common claim, each dated 2000 and above.

I used to read a lot of PDF books about Google hacking and Google searching techniques.

Now what have I done?

What the heck. I wasted a lot of time skimming through web portals.

Dear Mr. assignment, I'm making a comeback.

Just you wait.

The articles are interesting and now I'm interested to write.

And yes, something that is not interesting is not worth writing. Might as well be thrown into a pile of shit.

God. I've just noticed.

This semester I am as lazy as a sloth,

as slow as a slowpoke.

Might as well be shot.

Anybody, please do the honor,

shoot this lazy bump.

So that he'll be awake.

You, please motivate me. Now.

What? I don't even

Correction, ladies and gentlemen!
Regarding my post last night, let's forget about that.
Anyway, Mr. A was very satisfied with our play.
He said it was excellent and well done!
He said our marks will be more than 25, perhaps 27 over total of 30?
Ha ha ha!
Well, I think that settles everything.
And I think I'm very happy.
Who thought a few times of practice ended up quite a-okay?
And today I get to take a lot of pictures with Bianca too. Yay!
Uh-hum.
Thank you everyone!
We did a good job.
Though I forgot my lines by the end of the play
and forged a new one,
which turned out undetected and well? Um?
Whatever.
What's done is done
and plus it's done with flying colours.
Who cares?
Happy, happy, happy.

Oh How Wonderful?

Today let me introduce you to a phrase "it defeats the purpose".
Or in a more accurate terminology, "it freaking defeats the purpose", for the sake of telling what this is about.
So, ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow we're going to present our adaptation of Shakespeare play.
The Taming of the Shrew.
Which is supposed to due on 18th of April.
How wonderful? All of a sudden the due date is changed to tomorrow, when we can actually have about three weeks to prepare.
Oh well, maybe all the microteachings and assessments are not enough to torment us.
Really, I have nothing against Shakespeare or acting in a play.
But tomorrow, you see, who will have all the time in the world to watch the play?
At 9 a.m. that is, while everyone is in the middle of finishing pile of unending assignments?
The answer is, nobody.
And that, defeats the purpose of booking the freaking big hall -
for a play that is practiced halfway and had very-very little preparation!
And yeah, I do admit for my group,
the fault was on me and H for failing to complete the script.
I have nothing to defend myself.
I couldn't write a comedy play, that's the truth actually.
Well, you think it's easy to write a comedy alone,
something that people will laugh at when you're under pressure?
Oh maybe it's easy, it's just me.
I only know funny, when it's bloody. I laugh only at dark humors.
Of course, I'm kidding you and I'm kidding myself as well.
No, no, no, I just failed.
Anyway, again,
what's the purpose of rushing to book the hall for a play that's half-baked?
What are we trying to achieve?
Whatever it is,
now I could care less as long as it is done.
Now I'll shut up.

Almost There

Dear world, I know this may sound insignificant to you. But here we go again, shamelessly telling things people could care less to know.

These assignments, this term, they are almost over!!!

Give them 2 weeks.

I'm getting my life back.

I'm getting my weekend outings back.

I'm getting myself sane again.

Oh.

But there's one big problem.

I am almost broke.

A very thin line that needs just a snap to break.

Oh demmmitt.

I should start selling my stuffs.

Till then, blog.

We'll make love again soon.

Mors ultima linea rerum est.