Saturday, December 18, 2010

Immortality of Turritopsis nutricula

Finally, I've found the true secret of immortality. Bollocks to Twilight, Vampire Diaries and other vampire crap! True Blood is pretty awesome though (because of the generous exposure of mammary glands). Anyway, hey, did you notice the address of this blog is virusofimmortality? I know, it's a bit too long and it reeks of teen angst, but currently I feel like not giving fuck about changing my address anytime soon.

Turritopsis nutricula is a species of IMMORTAL jelly fish. In addition to that, it is probably the fucking one and only immortal creature in the whole fucking world! (refer to previous post for 'fuck' usage)

Hey I'm gonna live forever and laugh at your short lifespan. :D
Turritopsis nutricula is immortal in the way that it can revert to its polyp stage after becoming sexually mature. Thus effectively bypassing death because they don't get old! (Provided they don't get themselves squished by anything in the ocean)

To explain this in analogy of human beings, it may refer to a whore who can revert from menopause and have massive sex with strangers and basement dwellers and virgins again! Okay, not really. It simply means, if we have the ability similar to this jellyfish, we can reverse our life cycle; being young again effortlessly!

This special case of immortality is possible to jellyfish because they have this cell development process called transdifferentiation, which is not available among us, pathetic humans. In short, transdifferentiation occurs when jellyfish alters the differentiated state its cells and transforms it into new cells.

If this is possible in human beings which is absolutely impossible, it will end the endless search for the long rumored Fountain of Youth! There will be no more case of people getting caught for statutory rape! Age of consent will be just another bullshit. There will be no more cases of adults engaging sex with minors BECAUSE EVERYONE IS MINORS. Oh shite.

Holyshit, that's messed up, don't you think?

The Times


clarky said...[Reply]

thank goodness we're no more minors! haha! ehem. *whistle*

Valossa Vicious said...[Reply]

Thank goodness! Fuuuhhh!