Young and Foolish

 *Cleaning up the virtual cobweb*

I wish I could tell you how terribly hectic my life was these few weeks and even at the moment this post is written. Intricate and procrastinated piles of work are still in progress and all these seem to be endless! Lack of sleep, check. Malnutrition, check. Frustration, check. Caffeine high, check.

Do you know what is caffeine high? It happens when you take excessive amount of caffeine in short period and you get irregular heartbeat, in exchange with energetic boost and sleepless nights. That’s just my theory though.

Heck, due to this, now I can proudly say I make the greatest latte and espresso which will put you away of drowsiness better than meth!

Practicum is almost over and actually tomorrow will be my last day teaching English. Today I taught Civics for the last time (hellyeah) and for the first time I brought my giant speaker and subwoofer, which I’d long refused to use for Civics because it’s absolutely unnecessary for me to use audio teaching aid. That last lesson was pretty unethical though but who cares, it’s the last one so I might as well do something different. Anyway, now I can honestly say, I dislike teaching Civics because actually it’s not Civics, it should be called ‘Propaganda and Indoctrination’. It’s over nonetheless and I had fun with them.

So what else do we have now it’s about to end? God, I’m getting a hysteria just to list them down. Just forget it.

Who the heck suggested this scheme of work anyway? It’s sucking away our souls day after day. Don’t even mention time management. Some of us are already failing at that and now they expect us to do better time management while doing many ongoing tasks at once? As a result, if we don’t come up with shitty work, we’ll come with obviously mediocre and redundant outcomes. We’ve just hit the punchline, dear procrastinators-who-expect-quality-outcomes!

Anyway, I’m beyond happy at the moment because finally, I get to be a student again. Just a 23 year old dude, free from a title emblazoned on my forehead, free from social responsibilities and stereotypes, and for the most free from daily lesson plans! I know it’s a universal agreement in the field of education that lesson plan is mandatory but seriously, it causes stress more than anything in the world and there’s nothing else in my life that stresses me just like this.

And essentially, less than a year to be young and foolish.

Why young and foolish? Because when you get older you’ll be old, stubborn, and foolish. You’ll still be foolish at some points no matter how smart you think you are. Imperfection, silly things that you’ll continuously and randomly do.

The moment you think you’re so perfect, that’s where you stop.

Ahh, what else is better than this? Let me out of this “teacher” title while I still can. Not that I’m shunning responsibility nor I loathe it, but let me, let me be myself, just for this short while. Aside from possibilities for other careers, most of us will be stuck with this title more than 5 years! 5 years. 5 years is too much of a period for anything to happen. Life. Death. Marriage. Love. Kids. Money. Despair.

And this reminds me of the constant question and its other variants;

“Are you single?”


“Why are single?”


“Who’s your girlfriend?”


and drum rolls… “You must be gay.” Heck, that’s not even a question damnit.

My answer to all these questions is,

Love can wait. Don’t rush to break your heart in rapid succession before you find the right pair.

But still, who says it’s always fun and shit to be single for quite a while? Most of the time it’s fun and you feel indifferent when people talk about such matter. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, it feels like,

FOREVER ALONE. HAHAHAHAHA

Seriously dude, seriously. But it works like the high and low of tide. So you can cope. And trust me it could be a better way of living for all of you, instead of contributing too much in your Facebook-public-diary-of-my-love-life.

p/s: There are 2 things in this world that are limitless: The Universe and human stupidity, though I’m not yet sure about the Universe - Albert Einstein

Kau Sikit Pun Tidak Cool

Ini satu benda yang agak kontra bagi aku sebagai seorang pendidik Bahasa Inggeris. Lebih ironi lagi entri ini dalam Bahasa Melayu. Ini benda yang telah agak lama aku perhatikan dan sumpah-sumpah (bukan biawak itu) untuk beberapa kurun.

Kau tidak cool walaupun kau pandai cakap English.


Kesimpulan yang aku buat setelah melihat segelintir manusia yang begitu takbur, bangga, dan riak hanya kerana mereka mampu bercakap dalam bahasa kolonial yang dibanggakan sebagai bahasa antarabangsa ini. Apa yang kau bangga bai? Kau lahir dengan bahasa itukah? Kau lebih muliakah kerana begitu fasihnya kau bertutur dalam bahasa itu? Oh tidak, aku tidak sedikit pun hasad dengan kau kerana aku juga boleh bertutur dalam bahasa itu.

Kalau kau bodoh macam lembu, kau tetap bodoh macam lembu walau kau bercakap dalam English.


Untuk pengetahuan kau, pengetahuan dalam bahasa ini bukanlah sesuatu yang patut kau banggakan. Pasal apa? Pasal bahasa ini terlalu biasa, bahasa Inggeris ialah salah satu bahasa yang paling mudah dipelajari. Malah kebolehan menguasai bahasa hanyalah kebolehan sampingan. Jadi bagus sangatlah tu kalau kau riak dengan hanya setitik ilmu di tengah lautan. Bagi aku hidup ini lebih dari setakat itu dan tidak pernah aku bangga hanya kerana aku boleh bercakap dan menulis dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Apa kau bangga dengan bahasa manusia-manusia yang pijak kepala datuk nenek kau?


Atau kau bangga dengan bahasa bangsa yang memulakan pemerintahan kapitalisme di negara ini?

All Your Knowledge Are Belong To Us

As an educator, this post signifies something significant. It's a concrete evidence that I'm here in this tongkang pecah writing this entry instead of coming to school.

To my students who are reading this blog, I'm sorry I couldn't come, I'm far too busy with work I don't want to bother explaining, it's currently my major headache. I have to finish it or else I'll be living as a freelancer in the the next two years. Really, the idea of working for myself sounds intriguing. To my camarada reading this, of course, I'm referring to the thesis which I'm sure you don't want me to mention. Progress? Are you kidding me?

Instead of explaining about the thesis, now let me write some bullshit what's keeping me from being interested in doing it and also why I loath teaching Civics to my Form Two students.

First, the thesis.

The most prominent part about thesis and in fact the core of any written research is the citation. Every idea that you claim must be supported by adequate evidences, which means your idea is only considered valid and acceptable if it was supported by a well-established researcher, individual or some crazy bastards you don't even know. For each claim or opinion-oriented idea, it must be scaffolded by somebody before you, for the sake of continuity and credibility. I'm not totally against the idea of citation, seriously. But here's some thoughts that I had and discussed with some folks,

It is an act of preserving knowledge ownership.

"These knowledge and thoughts belong to us and we must be credited when you use resemblance of these ideas." (Just bullshit I write, 2010)

In other words, despite of the modern views on freedom of speech, the written knowledge is in fact is still under control and shaped by people in higher hierarchy. When it becomes a necessity to support our idea and in fact the topic itself was influenced by readily-available ideas, doesn't that mean our process of thinking is already influenced by external factors instead of originality? Sure, every invention is based on well-established ideas and bigger structure needs to be scaffolded with smaller parts, the same way as a brilliant and new ideas and inventions need to be supported by previous ideas.

However, when it comes to the thesis I'm talking about, honestly, all I can say is bollocks to originality. What we are actually doing is the parroting of information. Patchwork. Redundancy that brings nothing to change the education system in this country.

Who says everything that I said was yours just because you were the first to say it?

Just because you said you needed to shit first does not mean that the need to shit is your possession. In fact, each thought that you had in your mind most of the time will occur to me or anyone and I didn't hear the shit from you. I know this is a really shitty way of explaining this, but who gives shit anyway?

This entry is not supported by any citation. So don't give shit.

About my lack of interest in teaching Civics to my Form Two class. Based on the entries in this blog, I bet it is not difficult to see that my views are obviously not pro-government. I'm neither anti-government nor I support PKR and other opposition parties. But at least I'm not some dipshit who doesn't notice certain idiots who were trying to run a country with idiotic and racist agenda. Therefore, the reason that I loath teaching the subject is because... How could I indoctrinate them with knowledge that I personally doubt and despise? This is what we call politicizing the education. They are taught to love, to respect, to support, to thank the government, instead of the country! The same government who took the money for some projects I can't even witness or experience, for some comfortable castles I can't even step in, for some expensive cars that they don't need. So that's my reason. Thank you very much.

p/s: “Falling in love is like learning to ride a bike. When you fall and break your bloody knee cap, you get up with your last ounce of strength just to kick the fucking tires and hurl the damn bike down the bloody hill.” 

Tidak Berikan Tahi

Kali ini aku akan menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu yang bukan bahasa ibundaku kerana aku bukan Melayu. Mungkin wajar Bahasa Melayu ditukar namanya jadi Bahasa Bumiputra? Setuju? Aku tidak berikan tahi pun.

Sila abaikan pos sebelum ini, siapa kisah entri-entri ini peribadi atau tidak? Kita manusia ini suka berhalusinasi. Bukan dengan ganja atau hashis tapi dengan kebodohan sendiri. Tiada siapa peduli apa sepatu yang kau pilih, warna tali lehermu, bajumu bergosok atau tidak, kecuali manusia yang bodoh dan suka menilai hal-hal yang remeh. Tapi tunggu, jika begitu maksudnya manusia itu kebanyakannya bodoh. Antara dua barang yang berfungsi serupa, sekata malah sebiji sama, mengapa dipilih yang mahal harganya? Sedangkan pendapatan tidak seberapa. Kau sama macam aku, manusia makan gaji, hamba zaman moden. Salaryman kata orang Jepang. Semuanya kerana... Bodoh barangkali? Tidak payahlah aku sentuh konsumerisme atau yang sewaktu dengannya. Sememangnya, kita lebih suka sesuatu yang dipandang berbanding nilai dan isinya.

Apa yang aku cakap tadi? Halusinasi? Berbalik pada halusinasi, biar aku bagitahu perbuatan yang kerapkali aku perhatikan di Bukumuka. Manusia yang mengadu-ngadu putus cinta di dunia sebenar dan mengeluh, berkeluh-kesah di dunia virtual. Dengan harapan ada yang kisah, ada yang prihatin, ada yang penyayang. Prihatin sangatlah dengan hanya membalas komen dengan "Bawalah bersabar..." "Dia tu memang macam babi." "Itulah aku sudah cakap..." Ya tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian, itu sangat membantu. Sememangnya menaip diatas keyboard itu serupa dengan bercakap bersemuka. Atau tidak. Perbuatan diatas sangatlah membuang masa dan mampu memberikan impak yang jahanam untuk orang lain. Bila anda bermasalah, kongsilah dengan rakan-rakan, keluarga atau kaunselor, bercakaplah, gerakkan mulut seperti manusia, jika tidakpun, angkatlah pena dan tulis, untuk tatapan dirimu sahaja. Kerana dirimu begitu berharga. Untuk pengetahuan anda yang sedia tahu, di dunia ini berjuta-juta orang putus cinta. Bertambah seorang lagi yang putus cinta tidak akan mengubah apa-apa, ikan paus tetap akan mati, kucing tetap menimbus tahinya, dan dunia ini tetap akan berakhir. Tiada yang berubah, kecuali hidup kau sendiri. Baik atau buruk perubahan itu, itu hal kau sendiri. Tiada yang boleh mengubah pemikiran dan ilusi dalam kepala otak kau kecuali diri kau sendiri. Terima kasih.

Jadi kesimpulannya, Bukumuka ini sudah menjadi tempat orang berkongsi diari awam yang boleh dibaca oleh semua lapisan masyarakat. Kalau difikirkan, jika benar orang-orang Yahudi atau Amerika mahu menyerang negara-negara lain, ia sudah jadi terlalu mudah. Untuk menyelongkar dan menyiasat psikologi, pemikiran, atau perancangan, mereka punya Bukumuka yang terkandung semua fikiran-fikiran orang ramai. Untuk rancangan hendap dan serangan udara atau kemasukan tentera, mereka punya Google Earth dan Garmin, tidakkah senang? Tidak perlu memeriksa peta, malah ada arahan bersuara dari komputer. Semua lokasi boleh jumpa punyalah. Bentuk geografi pun amatlah jelas, tiada kesusahan langsung untuk menghantar unmanned misil.

Mungkin tidak perlulah aku tulis panjang-panjang disini. Itupun kalau kau baca post ni. Bye.

The Coma Epiphany

It’s an epiphany, perhaps larger than that. I’m referring to the thoughts lingering in my mind right now. Nothing really serious like; “What the hell am I doing with my life right now?” “I need to find a cure for this self-destructive tendency.” Heck no, because this self destructive tendency is fun and it’s the secret key to borderless and reckless confidence. 

What I’m really trying to say is the direction of this blog.

Whether you realize it or not, this blog had a somewhat abnormal growth. At first, this blog was created for more personal reasons. The earlier posts were mostly personal. By personal I’m referring to bad poetry of broken hearts, useless love-life rants and more useless and worthless content. Gradually, these less valuable content were replaced with more mature posts (or so I think) and I started writing about my opinions on current issues, poetry, maniacal stuff I did, places I went to, my past experience when I was young and foolish and whatnot. Time after time, I noticed my readers are increasing in parallel with the increase of less personal content. Right folks, that’s the truth, there are few people who are interested about your personal life other than your girlfriend, your ex, your close friends, your stalkers, and closet gay bastards.

When I revised the content of this blog recently, I noticed it consists of a good, unbalanced mix of personal and non-personal content. But the prominent fact here is the lack of posts which are actually good and worth reading. Truth is, I’m disappointed with this blog and I’m considering changing its name to A Pot of Shit. God that can be translated to Marijuana Went Wrong! Talk about genius blog-naming inspiration.

Lately, I’ve been stalking and trolling in many Malaysian’s blogs and I would say, this blog is nothing compared to them, but that’s not the point. I could care less about traffic counts and number readers. This blog was not created for monetary benefits. However, this does not mean that I don’t give a rat’s shit about its quality. This blog is written by me, when it lacked quality that means the author is shitty. Perhaps that is true, because honestly what I was actually doing for about a year was fucking up with my life. It was a wholesome life of ignorance and indifference. At least that’s the only thing I could do to make myself okay. I did not ask for help from anyone, I stood on my own.

Now, as you can see, as I write further the stuff is getting more and more personal.

Anyway, despite of the unresolved issues unintentionally mentioned above, I’m planning to turn this blog to a new direction, write new contents, delete shitty posts and write better for the sake of whom? Nobody. Or should I just write another blog and keep this one for personal posts? Seriously, my concern about the well-being of this blog is a bad habit, because at the moment I have official and very important work which needs to be done. This is what I meant when I mentioned ignorance. When it comes to ignorance, trust me, I bet I’m one of the best people you can learn from. I’m a guru of ignorance. But still I’m not interested to live under a bridge and be the local rastafari guru. I still care about eating, about having good clothes, playing console games, and having means of transportation. So in other words, I’m full of shit, honestly.

Nevertheless, the rebirth of this blog or a birth of a new Blogspot is still in consideration. A new epiphany, a new beginning. Let’s hope I could do the same to the life I’m currently living.

The Borderline Between Illuminati, New Secular Worldly Order and Skepticism and Paranoia

http://aulakalimah.blogspot.com/2010/09/kebenaran-di-sebalik-penipuan-dan.html

The link above is an analysis of the recent Aidilfitri commercial from TV3.

Recently there was this Hari Raya (Eid Mubarak) commercial by TV3, a popular national TV broadcast station in Malaysia, which induces a lot of suspicions and speculations, especially on Youtube and of course, our fellow Malaysian bloggers. As an avid and keen consumer of information and media related to the Conspiracy Theory and the agendas of the New Secular Worldly Order, this of course had attracted my attention. First of all, if you know the basics of Illuminati's symbolisms, structure, and ideology, try watching this commercial and tell me what you think.

The main topic of argument stated in this video is why there is element of Christmas in the video? Personally for me, it's not a problem because such a silhouette of element prove to be difficult to indoctrinate me into switching my religion, if their purpose was related to 1Malaysia. I know some people are against this, but it's my opinion. I'm not into the mumbo-jumbo of 1Malaysia, just for the note. Unity needs no such concept, it comes from sincerity. BUT, when the post (link above) relates the video to the symbolisms of Illuminati, without doubt, it is indeed true. However, the biggest defect of the research done by the original author is the fact that it is overly-analytical, to the point of paranoia. I read the Committee of 300, I skimmed through Pawns In The Game, I read a lot of materials and media related to the Conspiracy Theories, I finished watching The Arrivals, but I've never once witnessed an analysis to such paranoid details. Most importantly, Noreagaaa, Achernarr and Abdullah Hashem, the famous and credible researchers of the Illuminati and Antichrist or Dajjal, they had never promoted hatred between religions. They deliver their messages with such hikmah, which provoke us to think, rather than indoctrinating us merely on beliefs and groundless assumptions and essentially, their claims are supported with adequate evidences, both from the aspects of Science and dalil from the Al-Quran. What's the original author trying to promote? Religious and racial tension in Malaysia? If that was the purpose, then I'd strictly say, I oppose the idea.

Some of the symbolisms are indeed there, though just faintly. For one, the infamous star of Baphomet was shown, though I can hardly say if it was intentionally drawn to represent it. The places which mark the root of Masonry in Malaysia were also shown, such as Teluk Intan, Pulau Pinang, Hilir Perak, and of course, Kuala Lumpur. Indeed, such accurate coincidence can be suspicious but most of the details appointed by the author are not that convincing. Just for the note though, the Petronas Twin Tower itself is often associated with the Pillars of Solomon Temple, which is final to-do list of Zionist agendas. About the other details which were mixed up with elements of other religions, I have no comment, since those will not do much in causing indoctrination and subconscious influence, compared to what were shown in Disney, MTV, Wizard of Oz, and other Zionist media, especially through television. This doesn't mean that I disagree that the element of Zionism did not exist in Malaysia. It's just that obvious. And no, I'm not with the opposition party or any party. It's called opinion.

Baphomet.

Square Testicles

 Shit is old but still funny.

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you
$25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that
there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada!'

The origin of this Canadian story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent. Whoever breaks the chain would definitely be unlucky.

Breaking Point

DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE

That feels better.

Please don't

Please don't plunge yourself into the depth of fuckery

with your very own feet.