My Google Story

Something I thought of while commenting in a blog.

Recently, somebody in my Facebook said 'Kalau setakat google, budak tadika pun boleh google'. This kind of people are stupid cunts and this statement proves their lack of knowledge about what a powerful tool Google is and how many things we can learn from the internet.

Some examples of useless findings and knowledge I learned from the internet:

1. I didn't do any course in computing and programming but from the internet I know my computer inside out, both hardware and software. I am familiar with most of Windows XP aspects and the Windows registry, I don't even need any antivirus to remove virus from my computer, thanks to the internet. The moment I write this post, I don't even use any antivirus. I held my firm belief that usually the most dangerous virus came from people's USB drives rather than the internet. Hahaha I call these people 'penternak babi' pasal dalam komputer diorang ada berjuta-juta virus. With this knowledge I helped lots of my friends to fix their computer problems. Who said information from the internet are hardly reliable?

2. I might sound like a noob for computer experts and programmers but with the internet I learned how to build my own custom fighting games by using MUGEN engine by Elecbyte. You can customize everything with this engine. How many thousand characters would you like? Hundreds? You can even have thousands if you want to and crap your pants. You can customize the music, backgrounds, characters, lifebar designs, sprites and sparks, everything. You can pit Guilty Gear characters with Sailormoon girls in battle if you want to. Serious shit. It was totally addictive. I was a MUGEN enthusiast for about a year and I still keep my private custom MUGEN until now. I didn't create characters though because back then I was very noob.

3. When I was studying back in Selangor, I bought a PSP. As usual I will not let any gadget I bought left without thorough exploration. With the internet again, I learned about custom firmwares, Pandora batteries, Pandora stick, custom plugins and custom themes, I learned how to crack, downgrade and restore PSP firmwares, bypass encryption with .tiff image etc etc. Ask me anything about PSP hacks, firmware versions, I'll be delightful to answer. Then, I had this friend in Shah Alam who owned a game shop, I offered to do PSP services for his customers. Via Mudah.com I advertised my service around Klang, KL, Shah Alam and anywhere in Selangor. In 3 months, I gained clean profit for about RM2k with zero cost. LOL THIS IS ACTUALLY PIRACY but we're in Malaysia and Malaysia is the king among pirates! I still remember a customer from Terengganu sending me a PSP in Kopi Janda box with crumpled newspapers. He sent it via Nationwide without any insurance! God bless you I am not a scammer!

4. It's a shame though, since I don't have any basics in programming or knowledge in any programming language except for DOS commands, I cannot write any program simply because I am a noob. Not even C+ or Lua. But with the internet I learned how to do cheap tricks like decompiling a program and renaming or changing some of its menu items up to my liking. Or using readily available programs to crack Windows password. Or using Bart PE to bypass Windows protection and do prank on people (usually I use it to remove persistent viruses or emergency backup if the virus is such a motherfucker). Or using phising page or keyloggers totally for fun. All of these might sound cool if we can use it but IT IS TOO FUCKING SAD if we can't write any of these programs by ourselves. Yes?

5. Via the internet too I downloaded gazillions of ridiculous .pdf guides, manuals, self-help books, tutorials, and tons of stuffs people don't want to read. Books are expensive and I buy real books only on certain circumstances, say, if the story is really good, random joke books or I can't find the leaked pdf version. Honestly I'm telling you, most of the time reading these kinds of reading materials is waay more interesting than reading my academic books. I used to read a lot when I was a kid but during secondary school this habit gradually faded -.- so when I get older I guess this is kind of a complex.

Well actually if I want to write everything that I learned from the internet I think I'm going to bore you or I might drool on the keyboard. And I have not tell you how I learned about porn yet. At the moment my current internet addiction is learning the curves in Photoshop. I made a few crappy edits with my photos so I can have imaginary superpowers LOL. But hey, at least I'm maximizing the internet for learning purpose, right? So please don't be dumbfucks and generalize that THE INTERNET IS BAD YAWW. I love the internet and I treasure Google though it's so fucking scary since Google is too good and efficient. Oh, you can check Google corporate philosophy here. It touched my heart personally. I hope it's true and sincere.

Have you heard the proverb '"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime"?

I thought of a twist for that, "Teach a boy about Science and English, he'll be scientist and linguist. Teach a boy how to Google he'll know everything". Well not really. It's exaggerated, yes. That's why we still need teachers. Hahaha

What I would tell Google if she's a girl.